When it Comes to Dating, Check Your Expectations at the Door!

If you want to have amazing dating experiences, you should check your expectations at the door!

Meaning, don’t have high expectations for a date.  Note that I didn’t say to check your effort at the door.  You should always put your best effort into a date, always putting your best foot forward, being yourself, staying within your means financially, and just doing your best to have a great time!

That’s the difference between effort and expectations.  If you go into a date with expectations that a date will go a certain way or lead to a deeper relationship, then you are setting yourself up for failure.  This doesn’t mean the date can’t be an awesome experience but, often, our expectations undermine our ability to have a great time.

For instance, I like to golf, a lot!  I love to golf!  And one of golf’s great benefits is it is one great allegory for life and it reveals a lot about yourself and how you – typically – undermine your own success in life.  Now, I can have an amazing experience if I simply surrender myself to golfing as a great experience.  When golfing doesn’t become as fun of a sport, is when I expect myself to perform at a certain level or to achieve a certain score.  It’s one thing to have a goal or target in mind but it is a completely different thing to expect yourself to achieve that goal under all circumstances.  Putting these undue pressures and expectations on ourselves, in any area of life, makes it more difficult to achieve our intended goals!  Now, isn’t that interesting!

This applies perfectly to dating!  Whenever you go on a date, it’s always within your power to have a great experience and take away positive lessons, even if your date isn’t the most polite or graceful.  But, on any date, there are a lot of things outside of our control and having expectations for a date to go a certain way only puts pressure on ourselves, distracts us from the life and experiences in the present, and makes it a lot more difficult to have the great experience for which you had hoped!

If we’re learning to simply enjoy the process and experience of dating and making it something two people can share together to have a great time, there is no reason to bring a lot of expectations into a date, especially when we just learned they only serve to undermine our goals!  Give yourself fully to the moment, enjoy the experience, and check your expectations at the door!  That’s the surest path to having amazing dates!

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