Second Date Material: Qualities to Look For

“So, is there going to be a second date?”  If you’ve been on any number of first dates, you’ve probably heard this question once or twice in your life.  But how do we decide if there is going to be a second date or not?  What qualities do you look for that makes somebody “second date” material?  Here are a few things that I look for.

During a first date, one of the things I am most attuned to and determines whether I will be going on a second date with somebody or not is if they compliment me and highlight the strengths I have or if they thrive on criticizing and finding the negative in things with sarcasm.  The Greek derivative of the word sarcasm literally means to tear flesh.  Sarcasm is a form of humor which seeks the negative out in things to tear at them or rip them down.  I’ve never found this to be a very positive, inspiring, or complimentary form of humor, especially when directed at me on the first date.  But, if my date compliments me, points out my good qualities, and makes me want to be a better person, then there is a very good chance there will be a second date with that person!

Natural chemistry and complimentary personalities are also other qualities that lead to second dates.  If I’m being myself and sharing my true thoughts and my date is sincerely reciprocating the same behaviors and ideas, then that is somebody I want to spend more time with in my life.  A first date is really a great opportunity for you to let your guard down, especially if you don’t have too many expectations with the date and that is when you can really see if your date is a good match for your personality.

In short, if you feel as though you can be yourself with the person you are interested in and they compliment you well and bring out the best parts of you, then that would be a very good reason to meet with them again.  If you get the sense that your date wasn’t as similar to you as you had hoped and you weren’t able to make a very strong connection, even disregarding the first date jitters, then it’s probably best not to try and force the issue.  We should always seek to surround ourselves with people who accept us for who we are and bring out the best in us.  Dating is no different and it’s an even better experience because, in this case, you too are attracted to them on a deeper level.  Go out there and find that person who brings out the best in you!

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