How to Have an Unscripted Conversation

“But, what will we talk about!?”  How many times have we asked ourselves this question or had others ask us this question, nervously, before a date?  Here are some tips and tricks to put your mind at ease and have a great, unscripted conversation with your date.

First, don’t put all the pressure on yourself to draw a good conversation out of thin air because a good conversation takes two.  If the conversation hits a wall, getting nervous or putting pressure on yourself to get it going again can make things worse because, in a sense, you’re being desperate.  Be comfortable in your own skin, try to be comfortable in silence, and don’t make it your job to create conversation.  This low-pressure mentality may seem counterproductive but by taking the pressure off yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable to live in the moment and talk naturally without over-thinking.

Second, remember why you are going on this date in the first place:  you are excited to get to know your date!  Focus on what you are excited about and let that excitement and curiosity fuel your conversation.  Don’t worry about the outcome of the date and focus on living in the moment and letting that be your enjoyment.  By focusing on the moment, you’ll pay more attention to your date and naturally ask questions, laugh, and find things that you have in common to talk about.  That isn’t so bad, is it?

A third tip to keep in mind is that your date, assumedly, agreed to going on this date because they are excited to get to know you more too.  So much of the chemistry you have with a person goes beyond conversation and, if chemistry is there, you and your date will be okay with the first conversation not being the best if you’re both a little nervous.  The most important thing you can do is be attentive to your date, “let go and let live”, and have as good of a time as you possibly can.  Good conversation comes naturally and if you and your date have good chemistry and are both looking to get to know each other more, then you’ll be pleasantly surprised how effortless conversation comes!

Enjoy your date!

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