Elements to Look for in a Good First Date

So, you’re going on a first date with somebody you are really interested in!  Now that’s exciting, even without any expectations attached to the date!  Even if you’re hoping for the date to go well, of course, hopefully you aren’t expecting something to happen in order for it to be a good date because that would a sad distraction from the great experience you’re about to have!  Without attaching expectations on how the date is supposed to go, here are some elements I look for in a good first date.

  1. Mutual excitement! If I am taking somebody out on a date and I’m excited, hopefully the other person is excited as well, that’s a good sign that the date will be a good time.  This doesn’t mean you both have to be high-strung the whole time and finishing each sentence with exclamation points but, hopefully, there is a sense of mutual interest and intrigue in going out together.


  1. Mutual respect. I good first date, I believe, is always marked with a sign of mutual respect.  If you find that your date isn’t listening to you when you’re talking or fails to maintain basic date etiquette, then you can still choose to have a great time on the date but the other person will most likely not be a major contributing factor to your enjoyment.  A good first date will at least show that they are making their best effort to pay you respect and are invested in your enjoyment of the date.


  1. Finally, I look for mutual enjoyment. This is different than the excitement which comes with the date because sometimes you are both excited but, come to find out, your interests and personalities don’t align as well as you hoped.  So, it’s a great sign that the first date will lead to the second if you were both excited to spend time together and you enjoyed your conversations and the things you did on your date, even if they didn’t go exactly as planned.  This shows that you have compatible personalities and interests and could make a good match moving forward!


If I go on a date and we’re both excited, we both respect each other throughout the date, and we end the date both having had a good time, then it’s a great sign that I’ll being asking this person out for another great time together!  This is really what a first date is all about.  Not all dates will go this way and that’s perfectly okay because some dates will go this way and those will be the people you want to take out on a second date.

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