Asking Somebody on a Date in Today’s World

In today’s day-and-age, it has never been easier and it has never been more difficult, to ask somebody on a date.  Here is what I mean:

In one, modern, sense, it has never been easier to ask somebody on a date because there are numerous phone applications that can set you up for a date with the simple swipe of a finger.  In another, more traditional, sense, it has never been more difficult to date!  Why?  As the digital era of communication has grown, in-person interactions are less common and, therefore, tend to carry more weight and value and this implies a higher-level of commitment.  This higher level of commitment is reflected in the social shift from just a century ago, where people may have dated “many and often”, whereas, in today’s day-and-age, people tend to date “few and seldom” and those dating relationships often translate into more serious, intimate, relationships more readily than they did in the past.

Herein lies the problem: a date may be the flick of a finger away with today’s technology but the implications of that flick carry a lot more weight than they did a century ago.

So, how do you, personally, combat these “serious” implications?  Don’t make dating anything more than it needs to be!  Feel free to approach somebody you are interested in and ask them on a date.  Swipe freely through those phone applications.  Just because there are social pressures today to make dating a big deal, it’s your choice to either adapt that same perspective or not.

Just like in my last article, which explains that dating is something you get better at over time, asking somebody on a date is something you get better at over time and with practice.  But, the important thing to overcome is the “seriousness” with which we approach something as simple and noncommittal as a first date.  This doesn’t mean to treat your dates poorly!  It’s important to make your date as enjoyable an experience as possible but it doesn’t mean that there necessarily has to be a second or third date.  Simply enjoy the experience for what it is, put your best foot forward, and have a good time but don’t put hidden expectations into the experience.  Ask people out, enjoy the experience, and realize that if people say no, they might be too afraid to go on a simple date because they’ve adapted the new-age perspective on dating, which has a high level of underlying commitment and expectations.

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